Yesterday sucked. Simon’s sixth birthday. After six years, you’d think . . . . Nothing. It doesn’t get easier. The days in between the birthday get easier, but not the birthday. After losing a kid, every holiday and life cycle event can’t just happen. Even if there is some joy in the occasion, it comes with a price. You need to analyze it. You need to justify it. I came across this email and think it does a nice job of conveying the perspective of a parent dealing with the loss of a child.
The year after [he] died, I knew the holidays were going to be hard. 4th of July tradition had been broken and it was hard. Labor Day when we all went away was harder. He loved to goof around with the kids on Halloween and that was hard too. That Thanksgiving where we all sat around the table after a big dinner telling stories was missing our biggest story teller. 30 days later for Christmas was as hard as I knew it would be. But his birthday was unbearable which for some reason I wasn’t prepared for. I realize now that the big holidays is still surrounded by family and friends. But his birthday became an empty day where once their was a celebration for just him.